Serenity Prayer

God, grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
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A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons. -- Richard Bach
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Just do it!
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There is no place more important than right here.
There is no time more important than right now.
Be here now.
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When you come to the edge of all the light you have known, and are about to step out into darkness, faith is knowing one of two things will happen; there will be something to stand on, or you will be taught to fly. -- Richard Bach
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This above all - to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man. -- William Shakespeare
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"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?" -- Stephen Levine
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Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
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"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years" -- Abraham Lincoln
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In Memoriam AHH (1850) - XXVII

I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods;

I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
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A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. Wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about 2 inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The students laughed.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things -your family, your partner, your health, your children -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then... A student took the jar, which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full. Which proves: no matter how full your life is, there is always room for a beer.

(Note: "beer" may be read as an analogy for "taking time to stop and smell the roses" (see "Gratitude" below).
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"Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to." -- Satchel Paige
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The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
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"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -- Melody Beattie
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"It is not the critic that counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or the doer of deeds could have them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the Arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but he who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great devotion; who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who know neither victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt

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Have your cake and eat it, too!
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The darker the berry the sweeter the juice!
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The Man Code

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
3. When you are interrogated by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without accusation; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to yell "liar!" (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate is raised to 400%)
6. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is five minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait ten minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.
8. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly suspicious.
10. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
11. Before dating a buddy's "ex," you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
12. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
13. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
14. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
15. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but may never ask who's playing.
16. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you're able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.
17. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're lying on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
19. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
20. If a buddy is outnumbered, out-manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours, his actions have led you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin'," then you may sit back and enjoy.
21. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while weightlifting:

    "Yeah, baby, push it!"

    "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"

    "Another set and we can hit the showers."

    "Nice ass, are you a Virgo?"

22. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be referring to his beer.
23. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.
24. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
25. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not.